That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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