Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
