yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
