were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
