The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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