That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
