he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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