When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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