what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
