champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize