I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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