you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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