i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
