So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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