Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
