grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
