That's when you crack a 10am beer
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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