my sisters under your porch take her home
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
