He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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