guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
