I want to have your abortion
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
