Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
