I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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