im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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