Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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