God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
