fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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