she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I seem to have left my pride at pride
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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