This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
