she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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