I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
