She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
