Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
