Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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