it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
