i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
