I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
