We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
