no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
