Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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