you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
