Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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