member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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