Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
