We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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