garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
