Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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