You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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