I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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