So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
