May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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