He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
