careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
