The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
