He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
my liver is dry heaving
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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