i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Be still, my beating vagina.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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