what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
