I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There r osticjed everywhere
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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